It really is a wonder
by Dream Theme
Summary: "Of course, a group of bandits had attacked them. When had bandits ever not attacked them? It was like there was some magical, silent announcement that was made to all bandits whenever knights of Camelot left the city. Either that or there was some divine entity up there laughing at them." - My humorous take on Leon's mortality


**So here I am. Well, I can't remember where this idea came from seeing as I started this aaaaages ago. But I thought it was funny at the time. Still do kinda.**

**But here is my (not so) humorous take on Leon's mortality.**

Leon wondered how no-one had noticed yet. It really should have been obvious that he was not quite human. Yes, he had help from his ship, but really? In a time and place where people were killed just for looking like a sorcerer, how had the king not noticed that Leon simply hadn't died? In all the years he had been in Camelot and all the times that, by rights, he should have been killed but hadn't, he was beginning to fear for Camelot. Both Uther and Arthur were so oblivious to the obvious, it wasn't even funny.

It really shouldn't have been a surprise, he thought, when another of his kind turned up out of the blue.

Literally. He had come out of a 'big blue box'. Leon had known what it was. He had been to the 1960s after all, albeit a very long time ago. That was the first time Leon had met the legendary Doctor. A man famous (or perhaps infamous) for ending the Time War. The Doctor had brought two companions – a married couple. Rory and Amy.

The trio had scared poor Merlin when they had revealed that they knew about his magic. Had they not known that magic was still illegal in Camelot? Apparently not, if the way they had almost told Arthur about the warlock's magic was anything to go by. Luckily, Leon had managed to tell them that magic was unlawful in the kingdom (in such a way that would not get them suspicious) before they had implied Merlin.

They had scared Arthur too. Yes, the newly-made king was often getting looks of awe (he was the king after all, and exactly how many people got a chance to meet with their king), but when the looks were bordering on reverence, it was a little disconcerting. Lancelot also got a few looks and Amy had once tried talking to the knight about Guinevere.

Guinevere. When the Doctor, Amy and Rory found out that Gwen was little more than a serving girl, there had been incredulous gasps and looks. Rory had even shouted out with astonishment "You're a _hand-maid_?"

The trio had certainly confused many people. The Doctor was especially confusing. After all the things Leon had heard about the man, it was a little weird to see him so… bubbly? No, that wasn't the right word. Hyper? No, still not right. But whatever the word was, it was unnerving to see the Doctor act it. Leon had half-expected a stony-faced warrior. The Doctor was also supposed to be clever. But not even he had seen Leon for what he was.

The group had been out hunting one day. Of course, the group referred to included Gwaine, Lancelot, Arthur, Merlin, Leon, Percival, Elyan, a lot more other, unknown knights that were of no importance to the legends, and the Doctor. Amy and Rory had decided that they would prefer to stay in Camelot. Amy because hunting wasn't her thing, Rory because hunting wasn't Amy's thing… probably. The Doctor had only come, he had said, because he wasn't going to pass up on this chance to get to know the knights properly. Leon had rolled his eyes at that.

Of course, a group of bandits had attacked them. When had bandits ever _not_ attacked them? It was like somebody had put tracking devices on each of them and given all bandits the thing that tracked the tracking devices. Or there was some magical, silent announcement that was made to all bandits whenever knights of Camelot left the city. Either those or there was some divine entity up there laughing at them. Leon had glanced over to Merlin when they heard the battlecry from the leader of the renegade group. It seemed the warlock had the same thoughts as Leon for the boy looked up to the sky and, with an exasperated expression, mouthed 'why?'.

Obviously some of the bandits had magic. Because Leon's day just wouldn't have been complete without some magic-wielding bandits attacking him. Leon saw Merlin take out a couple of them at the same time when they inexplicably flew against a tree without anyone noticing… again…

They must be blind. What other explanation was there?

As Leon fought against another two bandits, he felt a sharp pain running through his back and out from his abdomen. He looked down and saw the sword protruding from his stomach and fought the urge to groan in irritation. One of the smelly thieves had snuck up behind him and stabbed him. As if the day couldn't have gotten any better. Now he would have to die. Again. And wonder if Camelot's king really would be so great if he didn't notice that Leon was alive. Again. It was just a good job his face didn't change when he regenerated.

Just one of the many perks that came with living near Merlin. The constant flow of magic (although it technically wasn't magic, just the ability to use 87% of the brain) allowed him to have as many regenerations as he wanted and to also keep the same face.

As the knight lay on the ground, waiting for the regeneration cycle to kick in, he heard signs that the mini battle was won. Arthur had told everyone to 'check for survivors' and when someone felt at his wrist for a pulse, he knew immediately it was the Doctor.

Leon didn't know how. He just could. Some Time Lord thing probably. After announcing 3 wounded, 10 dead and the rest alive, the group of knights moved on, leaving Leon and the dead behind.

And that's when he regenerated. Leon stood up and brushed himself down before taking off after his friends. He arrived at Camelot a couple of hours after the rest and walked through the gates with a nod to the guards.

Of course, they were too busy staring straight ahead to actually look at what was happening. The Time Lord-turned-knight wondered where they all kept coming from. Most soldiers of Camelot were killed every time the city was attacked. So surely there couldn't be that many more men to protect them.

This conundrum followed Leon as he walked up to the citadel and into it.

It wasn't until he made it to the great hall that Leon finally worked out a theory. Stupid people from different places in the kingdom kept coming to Camelot looking for jobs. Even after all the times it had been attacked.

The Doctor, Amy and Rory were just leaving the hall as Leon entered it. The Doctor was spouting some nonsense about Cleopatra and the Atraxi to the couple who clearly weren't listening. Amy smiled at Leon politely and grasped hold of Rory's hand tightly. Leon had smiled back and marched into the room.

"Leon! Just the man I was looking for." The Time Lord-turned-knight sighed and gave a quick nod of respect to the king.

"Sire."

**So there you have it. The end is a bit… meh, but that's cos I just did it just now and I wasn't in a really humorous writing mood. But wheeee! It's more light-hearted than my earlier Merlin fic as well. That one was just screaming ANGST!**

**And by the way, those who have read that one will be happy to know that it is being turned into a multi-parter and chapter one is almost done. I won't be posting it until I am at least more than half-way through the entire thing though because I would like to update it weekly so that you don't have wait forever and ever for the next chapter. If you see what I mean.**

**THANKS FOR READING! And you know I don't like asking for reviews. It makes me sound needy.**


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